11 BGJ Blog Entry - Only 1 More Left!

Happy Birthday To Me - April 28th, 2005 - 06:07 AM.

Another year passes and not much changes. Here I am, ridiculously early in the morning, trying to write something meaningful about today being some sort of milestone or what have you. I'm 34 as of 20:18 PM tonight, and I believe the emotion I'm experiencing is best described as "big fucking whoop." There is nothing outstanding that separates yesterday from today; there is no feeling of accomplishment or rejoicing at finishing off another year of survival against stupidity, which is what life ultimately boils down to. 34 years of being mediocre have come to an end, and tonight the first few grueling hours of year 35 kick in. Yippee.  So why am I bothering to write about it? Call it a sense of duty. Call it a desire to get my lack of interest regarding the date out of my system and into society in general so I can share the indifference. Think of it as complaining about all the people who go out of their way to 'celebrate' the fact that they have successfully completed a one-year journey closer to their own inexorable demise. Now, if that's not reason to celebrate, I don't know what is.  As most people reading this will know, I'm no big fan of the human race. I feel that the entire population of the planet suffers from a common ailment, stupidity, and that this rampant illness should result in the majority of the people you meet every day being exterminated in order to make life more pleasant for everyone else. Consider it "forced Darwinism," and think about it. There would certainly be an improved quality of life for those left behind.  I could be waxing poetic on the world events my eyes have seen; shuttles exploded, buildings collapsed. Better saved for a deathbed account, wouldn't you say? More dramatic then, yes?  Instead, I choose to look people right in the eye and tell them that today is no big deal. It's just a Thursday. Television is good tonight; the air outside could be warmer. There doesn't seem to be much in the newspaper this morning, aside from the usual government scandals, a few more dead people (yay Darwin), and false advertisements for computers and hair growth formulas. Pollution, extinction, global warming - these things haven't changed overnight. Why should anything else?  Admittedly, turning an important age, like 19, that means something. Couldn't fumble around in the back seat of a car without it being called rape, now I can. Couldn't smoke or vote, now I can. I can now legally get drunk, climb into a one-ton vehicle, and kill another human being. There's a milestone! I can write my own note to get out of class, rent a vehicle with my student credit card, drive to some god forsaken backwoods location that exists on no maps, get myself killed a la 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre,' and have no one wonder where I am for two days. Cool! Yeah, turning 19 has it's precious moments.  What do you say when you turn 34?  Congratulations, you may already have a good idea about what organs in your body are most likely to fail first, providing you with an insider's glimpse as to what you'll most likely die from! Let's party!  Anyway, happy birthday to me, and maybe I'll lose my pessimistic outlook as the day rolls on. I guess it all depends on how many gifts I get. Get to work, Gentle Reader, the day is a-wastin'!